It’s a Weight Loss Crisis!

don't panic buttonMany years ago, I remember reading this quote from a book by the author Brian Tracy, in which he said:

“If you’re living a normal, busy life today, you will probably have a crisis of some kind every two to three months”
That idea blew my mind. Previously, when a crisis had occurred, I would think “why me?” and “why now?”. But here was the idea that actually, for most people, crises happen regularly, and predictably.

It’s not unusual and it’s not personal!

If you can accept this idea, it will change your perception of life.

After all, if crises are regular, then:

– You SHOULD plan for them
– You SHOULD NOT be surprised by them
– You SHOULD NOT be upset when they come along and ruin your best-laid plans.

This is especially relevant for managing your weight.

If you are embarking on a weight loss plan, and something happens in your life that derails your plans, this is NOT unusual.

For example, you might start losing weight, and then a week later catch a really bad cold.

Or work gets busy.

Or a family member gets unwell.

The disruption could be enough to push your weight loss plans WAY off course.


You can interpret these events as cruel timing, get annoyed with yourself and then give up. Actually, that’s what most people do!

But getting pushed off track when you start losing weight is NORMAL.

The best thing you can do is prepare yourself for the inevitable crisis that WILL happen.

Remind yourself that crises will happen, and it’s not personal, or a failing.

Then make yourself get back on track as soon as possible.


Does this resonate with you? Has this been your experience? Share your thoughts in the comments section.


Posted in Blog
104 comments on “It’s a Weight Loss Crisis!
  1. Chrissy says:

    I find that this can happen but has the song says pick yourself up dust yourself down and start all over again.
    I am doing a dechox for the British Heart Foundation and this has helped me to stay focused while raising money.

  2. cheryl says:

    Do you think being overweight is a mental health issue? Can someone (me) change after 40 years of an eating disorder?
    I used to compensate for overeating with sports and diets, which worked until I hit menopause. Now 100 kilos at 55 years I have no concept of how I should be eating / drinking / exercising. If I could stop eating completely (just say no), I would do so.
    do I even have a chance? It doesn’t feel like it….

    • Hi Cheryl,

      I definitely feel that psychology is VERY important for losing weight. You can give someone the perfect diet regime, but what stops them from following through on it? It’s their habits and emotions associated with food and weight.

      But how many diets talk about psychology?

      But as for you, OF COURSE you have a chance! I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and disillusioned, but that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around.

      It will require commitment, focus and a heavy dose of PATIENCE.

      But if you’re willing to take small steps, keep on track, and keep going no matter what, then nothing can stop you.

  3. Renae says:

    Does this resonate with me? Of course it does! Every time I get my act together and start eating healthy something happens to derail me – my son gets suspended from school, I find out I owe money for taxes, my car needs repairs…..the list is ongoing and exhausting. I do my best to stay on course but I do give in to the temptations of comfort food on occasion , however I feel deeply disappointed in myself when I do give in. This has definitely been a process to change my behaviors.

    • Hi Renae,

      Thanks for the comment. Those are great examples.

      Sometimes it can be useful to think:

      “OK, I’m trying to change my behaviour and I will be derailed AT LEAST THREE TIMES, and I expect this will happen and yet I will keep going”

      When you expect at least three things to happen, then each time one happens, you can tick it off without feeling too bad about it, and keep going.

  4. Julie says:

    Yes,This reasonates so deeply. I’ve had one crisis after
    Another the last two years and it’s been hell.
    And each crisis was “permission” to abandon
    my weight loss efforts because well “poor me,
    I should be allowed to eat whatever I want”.
    But you are right, there will ALWAYS be crisis’
    In life. It’s reality, but it shouldn’t be an excuse.
    Thank you for your newsletters. Good they will
    continue as they always make me think and look
    at things from a different perspective .

    • Hi Julie, sorry about the last two years being hell, but the fact you’re here and commenting shows you haven’t given up!

      I hear you about the crises giving permission. Also remember, for most women, it’s been years and years of similar experiences, so each time you get derailed it confirms your previous experience.

      But now it’s time to break the cycle!

      And each time you don’t give in, it makes it easier next time.

  5. Dawn Jagdev says:

    Yes. We always expect life to ok 100% of the time when in reslity, it can’t be because if it was, we would take the good things for granted and life would be a bit boring. It’s how we cope with life’s challenges that makes us (I read that on Facebook!), but I think it;s true.

    Best thing to do when you get off track is to admit it, deal with it and get back on track.

    • Hi Dawn,

      Best thing to do when you get off track is to admit it, deal with it and get back on track.

      Well said!

      I also think when we think weight loss should be uneventful, that we feel compelled to “schedule” it in for quiet times, but of course, there’s no such thing as a quiet time.

      You will learn more about your eating from a crisis than when everything goes smoothly.

  6. Helen says:

    What I have trouble understanding is why a crisis should necessitate a change in the way we eat. Is it a biological survival mechanism that kicks in to ensure that we have enough calories to deal with the crisis or is it a learned self-comfort behaviour ? I really wish that I was one of the personality types that couldn’t eat under stress rather than feeling the need to overload on sugar until that heavenly saturation point is reached.

    • Hi Helen,

      Yes I think so. For our ancestors, most crises were either “fight or flight” which was more immediate, or if it was anything else, the risk was usually starvation, so it makes sense that we would seek food.

      But we can re-train ourselves to not turn to food in times of stress.

  7. Henneke says:

    It was hard to open the link at first – and then suddenly I found myself here! Thanks for this note – my thoughts are a little along the lines of “If ‘crises’ are happening every two months or so,are they really crises? Or are we being a little over-dramatic about challenges, in which case we may also be over-emphasising how hard it is to maintain healthy eating in those more difficult times?
    Don’t get me wrong, i can be a drama queen too and “need to reward” myself when it has been a hard day or whatever. But if we can see difficulties as part of normal life BECAUSE they happen so regularly, then maybe we can just continue with normal life and healthy eating patterns, a lot easier?
    Preaching to myself here…


    • Hi Henneke,

      That’s a good point. Sometimes it just comes down our use of language as to how we perceive and then react to a situation.

      So when I say crisis it makes it sound worse than it is.

      But whatever we call it, I agree that if we can normalise the usual stresses of life, it might make it easier to cope with.

  8. Pam says:

    You can’t always control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it is something that I always try to remember.

  9. keri says:

    I can see that it makes sense to expect a crisis to occur regularly and then plan it into your life so that eating doesnt go off kilter. however that is easier said then done if you are finding it hard to stick to eating well anyway.sometimes i can be strong and deal with issues and sometimes I use food to try to cope. its almost like I have no say in the matter at times.

    • Hi Keri,

      Yes, its easy to be “good” when you’re feeling strong and things are going your way, but harder at other times. But that’s why we shouldn’t rely on having to be strong and resist temptation and be in the zone like that.

      Instead, you want to create new habits, so that the new behaviours are automatic and relatively effortless. You don’t have to think about them.

      So everything you describe is a habit, and so it can be changed with a bit of application!

      That is what this entire weight loss philosophy is all about.

      You can make it so you always (or almost always) have a say!

  10. Helen says:

    What really gets me down is that I can be doing really well and feel like I can do this forever, and then something happens to make me eat things I shouldn’t, and it’s like someone’s opened the floodgates and I want to eat everything I shouldn’t eat, till I’ve till I’ve got it out of my system. It can be a really small thing like boredom or a day off that send me off the rails. I don’t get it. It’s a constant battle.

    • Hi Helen,

      What you’re describing is a little bit “diet-y”

      When you say “eat things I shouldn’t” it implies you’ve been depriving yourself and making things forbidden.
      This is hard to maintain in the long-term.

      Instead you have to work out either

      – a way to live with these things or satisfy that urge often enough to not feel deprived


      – a full emotional realisation that you no longer want that food.

      But the main thing is if you feel deprived or as if you’re missing out, then it will always be precarious.

  11. Carry says:

    Yes, this resonates. Life and the good and the bad bits often come between us and our good intentions. Dr K is right, preparation is key. Not giving up is also crucial. Keep on keeping on.

  12. Karen R. says:

    Or the opposite can happen, you get derailed and the scale drops a little and your brain (well mine anyway) immediately thinks that the indugence I had previously is OK to have again and again or forever…

    I feel like I am constantly looking to see what I can get away with. Does that make sense?

    • Hi Karen,

      yes that makes perfect sense.

      It reminds me of what a client said to me last year.

      She always thought the key was “How can I eat as much as possible and still lose weight”

      And then after a few sessions at the clinic she realised the key was “How can I eat AS LITTLE as possible and still have an enjoyable (and healthy) life?”

    • Carry says:

      Yes, I understand that too. ‘How much can I get away with.’ seems to kick with me when I have lost a few pounds. That’s when I find it hard to get going again. As Dr K says, it’s understanding that I can still eat, but
      it needs to be slowly and less!
      Really helpful to read other people’s comments. We are all out there trying to achieve the sme thing, so our support for each other is great.

  13. Ailsa Wilson says:

    My never ending fight with chronic IBS , pain and depression leads me into the crisis zone on a regular basis. I started to give up and ended up at 15 Stone and even more unhappy . However I have managed to lose a Stone and trying hard to continue to lose weight. Your newsletter can and do give me encouragement to carry on.

  14. Ellen says:

    This reasonates very well with me! About 2weeks after starting Dr.K’s online program my mom, who lives with us took a downturn.( She is much better and able to walk again with a brace). It wasn’t very long after that happened that I read this article. It was life changing. Along with the support from the forum, I realized just how much I ate because of stress! I actually started to listen to myself and I didn’t want food I wanted sleep! Not that I’m perfect and still have to work at it, but the stress eating has become a lot less! And I know to expect something else happening at some point and it won’t derail me as much!

    • Ellen, you’re a star! (as I’ve said before!)

      And that’s a good point about the stress eating. It’s not about being perfect straight off, but working on it, so it’s a lot less of a problem

      And yes sometimes sleep is all you need.

  15. Liz Byrne says:

    It’s all so true. What I find hard is when stressful events happen and I manage to stick with my healthy eating habits and yet I still put weight on. Is there a link between the production of stress hormones and weight gain, even when sticking to a healthy diet?

  16. Helen Morgan says:

    Thank you for all the advice and support you so freely give.
    The thing i always remember is the alternative is no good either! its not where i want to be. I accept i have to be mindful of what i eat and i like that i want to be healthy.
    I do indulge sometimes, but that’s ok and needed, the key is to step back on as a matter of course. Happy days everyone.

    • Hi Helen,

      Thank you!

      Yes absolutely. I often ask clients when they are feeling a bit discouraged and even contemplating giving up, “What is the alternative?”

      And as you point out, there’s no real alternative. Either be overweight, go on another diet (that won’t work), or keep trying a long-term approach.

  17. Jo says:

    I must first say that your emails have been a help and would be a shame if this all ends.

    I have got to an age where I expect things to go wrong in many ways and manage well. Giving the advise that I should use myself.
    I have tried many diet clubs with a lot of success but piled on the pounds again. This time I know no processed foods and eat more earlier in the day.
    Although. Since I have been going through the menopause I just can’t lose weight. I am getting very upset with myself.
    I have tried so hard. Then I go back to the chocolate probably for comfort.
    No one seems to be able to help me with the menopause diet.
    I have had back surgery and still have pain in joints including my back. This has resulted in lack of exercise.
    I really need help. Jo

    • Sylvia Wadsley. says:

      Your reply really resonates with me.I am an older lady and I often suffer chronic pain from damaged facet joints in my neck after a fall,this also gives me tinnitus and a shakey spine. I am an artist and despite having the help of an Alekandar therapist so that I can get the best posture whilst I work I am often in pain when I work.However this does not stop me from what I do.
      I decided that losing weight might help my health and I have been doing Dr K s course and since last August have lost 17 lbs.Losing another 2 stones would,I believe take a lot of pressure off my spine.In speaking of crisis I don’t think people realise that living with chronic pain can be a constant crisis.
      I think its very important for you to try and lose weight and start taking walking exercise if possible.I also recommend a website called Sirpa which deals with the understanding and relief of chronic pain and has a blog similar to this one.
      Lastly I appeal to Dr K to keep this one running as sometimes its all someone has,and can make a difference

      • Sylvia, you’re one of the stars of the course, and I’m so proud of your success so far!

        It’s not just that you’ve lost 17 pounds, but it’s more that the way you have lost it, it is sustainable, which is the most important thing. Well done!

    • Hi Jo,

      That does sound frustrating. But don’t give up!

      It’s just a matter of finding the right plan.

      One thing I will say is, you said “This time I know no processed foods and eat more earlier in the day.” which are two strategies, but to succeed at losing weight and keeping it off, I believe that you need a lot MORE strategies than that.

      It’s adding in lots of different strategies dealing with all different aspects of your eating habits, that results in lots of small changes, and eventually big weight loss.

      The point is, when you make small changes, it doesn’t feel so drastic and overwhelming, so it’s easier to stick to.

      Just don’t give up. As you go through menopause, the old diets won’t work as well, but that doesn’t mean you can’t lose weight. You just need to change your approach.

  18. Maria says:

    The crisis reoccurring just as you find your balance is maddening, disheartening and yes, can throw you. And of course you have to be prepared. But as I have now hit the age of catching up with myself (57 and born in 57), I no longer want my life to lurch from crisis to crisis or my health/eating to go from extreme letting go to extreme self control. Of all the lessons in the last week, I take away balanced indulgence : it reflects your whole ‘Dr K’ approach if I may suggest is gentleness to oneself – yes within some new disciplines (habits) of thinking and planning differently. So in short, I would rather think of what you are calling crisis as blips ! This is me talking from a very sick bed five days in a row with a flu / bronchitis and wanting to see this as a blip rather than a crisis !

    • Hi Maria,

      Yes I agree, saying “blips” instead of “crises” makes them feel much easier to manage.

      And I’m glad you say that. I do believe my approach to losing weight is based on being and gentle and forgiving to yourself.

      Hope you feel better soon!

  19. Lauren says:

    Yes it resonates with me. It has taken me nearly 3 years to learn to accept that crises are normal and I have to stay steady and focused with food and not let anything derail me. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t I remind myself of the Dr K saying, ‘get back in the zone’ and all is well.

    I am managing to maintain my new weight within 2kg of my lowest weight since I started with Dr K 3 years ago. Dealing with crises without sabotaging weight loss or maintenance has been essential to learn – no matter how many derails along the way. I always think of Dr K’s, ‘the only way to fail is to give up!’ That keeps me going.

    • Hi Lauren,

      Thanks for the comment, and it’s absolutely true “the only way to fail at this is to give up”.

      You’ve done so well, and I’m proud of your success. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

  20. Catriona says:

    I was going to write that there is never a perfect time to start changing your diet and looking after yourself because you’re right – stuff happens all the time and there is no way to avoid it. It just has to be dealt with. Then I realised that of course there’s a perfect time to start – it’s NOW. Getting up and getting on with it regardless of the distractions or working round them or falling down and getting back up again – the important thing is just to start. Now all I have to do is take my own sage advice!!

    • Hi Catriona,

      There’s the Chinese saying

      “When is the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. When is the second best time to start a tree? Today”

      Believe me, it’s one thing giving advice, it’s another thing taking it. That’s why it’s nice to have others to keep you accountable.

      Thanks for the comment

  21. Susan says:

    I echo what Pam said: we are bothered not by “things” but our perception of them.” Epictetus is a favorite of mine!

    To me that means looking at a “crisis” in an honest way. I try not to over-think them, or blow them up so they own me instead of my owning them. When I own them, they are under MY control. And then I can confront them and give them the attention they deserve. I find this can render them quite manageable.

    An example (to tie to eating): I hear a friend say “oh I’m starving.” No you’re not. You might be hungry, but you are not starving. Same thing with a crisis. Make SURE it’s a crisis before you label it as such.

    There my input for what it’s worth! 🙂 And yes, I DO read the newsletters and would be very sorry to see them go!

    • Hi Susan,

      That’s a really good point about using the word “starving”. It makes getting food seem like an emergency, which completely warps your choices.

      And yes, crises (or “blips”) cannot be things that happen to you without you having some control over your reaction, or you become a victim.

      And I think this happens in eating as well, when clients will say things like “We had a birthday at work, so I had to eat the cake”.

      There’s no actual connection there, and you’re not a victim of the birthday. It’s about taking responsibility back, which is doable, and very empowering.

  22. Claire says:

    I work full time and have a 7 year old – I make excuses all day long about why I eat the way I do but I am the one that puts the food in my mouth. If I planned and took more care of myself I would lose weight but I dont. It is that simple.
    I am relatively active but I eat for comfort, I eat when I am bored, I eat when I am at work to pass the time. I have done every diet under the sun and if you stick at it you lose if you dont you wont.
    It infuriates me that this is the one part of my life where I lose control but I have not learned how to control it yet even though I logically know what I need to do.
    I sabotage my weight loss every day I do not need a crisis to avert my attention…..

    • Hi Claire,

      I empathise with your situation, because it is difficult to find the time if you’ve got a full time job and 7 year old to look after, and losing weight does require a minimum amount of time to focus and commitment.

      What I would suggest is that part of the problem may be because you’re thinking of losing weight in diet-terms.

      With a diet, you need to overhaul your life and stick to a totally new regime. This is very difficult to do, and fragile, because as soon as you have a busy day, it’s out the window.

      Instead, it would be better to reduce down the actions you need to take, to as small as possible (and always asking “Will I be able to stick to this for the rest of my life?”). This is essentially what I do with clients. I make it as easy to do as possible, and as “crisis-proof” as possible.

      And you’re right, most diets don’t really talk about comfort-eating, boredom-eating etc, but these are very important, because if you don’t figure out how to deal with them, your weight loss will not last.

  23. Gilly says:

    I definitely find that it’s important to be kind to yourself when you go through a blip. Its far easier to come out of a stage of overeating by gently coax yourself back into a positive frame of mind, instead of putting yourself down and telling yourself you are useless.

    I am still learning to do this!!

  24. chisty says:

    life happens every day and EVERY THING is all around food so easy to fall

  25. Steve L says:

    The real challenge is mastering the crisis to ensure it doesn’t become the new norm. For me this has required focus and practice especially with small events that push me off track momentarily. It is hard but I do find weighing myself every day helps keep me sharp and in control. This is the ‘real-time’ feedback that I rely on and has become an important’weight control coach’. Please kkeep writing the newsletter – it’s the other important ‘weight control coach’.

  26. Tina Conner says:

    Life happens!
    We went on vacation and my husband & I have different eating styles. He can eat 1 or 2 meals a day and I eat 5 small meals. I was so thrown off but had to make do! We stopped at a grocery store for healthy snacks & water bottles.
    I was so glad to get home & get back on my Carb Cycling Program!

    I love your encouraging emails!

  27. Jean Johnson says:

    My problem is the mid day meal. I work several hours with no break and bringing nutritious, easy to eat snacks everyday gets old fast. If I skip snacks at work, I am famished when I get home. I am not one who feels up to chopping and packaging edibles each day before work. Looking for some suggestions. I spend plenty of time prepping meals each night. Just want to find some easy food to take along for work and errand running after work.

    • Hi Jean,

      Why don’t we use the power of the community to get some suggestions from other commenters?

      • Susan says:

        The internet has some wonderful suggestions for easy, portable meals. I have to tote my lunch and snacks to work as well, so I understand the “boredom” factor! I will make up salads in a jar on Monday some weeks. I also keep a jar of peanut butter at work and sometimes will tote 2 slices of bread. I find it easier if I do the prep early in the week instead of every day. If you have access to a microwave, prepare a little extra dinner and scoop some into a microwavable bowl for the next day’s lunch.

      • Tina Conner says:

        I like my afternoon snack today:
        Chobani Greek Yogurt & 1/4 cup of Kashi Go Lean Cereal.
        #protein & fiber
        I also like almonds for an easy snack at work.

    • Sylke says:

      Hello Jean
      I take a prepared lunch to work with me every day, usually a soup if I have made some or else a mixed salad which I put together quickly in the morning, often topped with an avocado and some nuts or mixed seeds. I find it helps a lot to have all my ingredients available and ready to go and then it’s just a really quick job in the mornings to prepare and pack it. As a formula it does get a bit repetitive but then it is convenient, and I bring in lots of variety in the evening meal.
      But I also take a piece of fresh fruit and a packet of oatcakes with me every day in case I need a snack on the run, no preparation required!

  28. Janet says:

    Learning to get back on track quickly has been one of the most important lessons that I’ve learned. I used to get totally derailed by things going wrong or an unexpected event or crisis happening. That would make me give up and I would put back on all the weight I’d lost (plus more!).

    Now I know that unexpected things are always going to happen and the critical step is to get back on track as fast as possible. Through practice it has become one of my best skills.

    I am in the US in a business trip – when I did a similar trip last June I found it difficult to continue making sensible decisions about eating. I created my own crisis and ended up putting in weight. This time I planned how I would deal with the trip and have managed to keep to my plan. My travel scales have been an important tool in tracking my weight and keeping my focused. Being able to get back on track has been a big part of the trip going well.

    • Hi Janet,

      Yes travel scales are a valuable help on vacation, because they give you real time feedback. It’s hard to let things get too out of hand.

      Great that you’re much better at handling when things go “wrong”

  29. Dgee. says:

    Yes it resonates. When you use food like a drug you are going to need it in times of crises. I am 40 now, and I have managed to keep my weight stable for about five years. I am not at the weight I want to be, but it is stable. And I have emigrated, started a job, started a masters, had a parent with cancer, have two kids, one has learning difficulties. I wish, just wish I could shed 10 kilos, but I am scared to upset my new balance. And I just wish I could fly back in time and tell my 13 year old beautiful skinny self, who was so depressed because she was getting tall and mature, don’t! just don’t start it all. It’s a pandora’s box. Curse you low calorie diet, curse you low fat diet, curse you for a lifetime of pain.
    Dr K, thank you. We’re hearing you.

    • Hi Dominique,

      Remember, even maintaining weight is a victory. For most people their weight is inching upwards, so to maintain despite all those things happening in your life, is fantastic.

      Most clients tell me that when they were in their teens or twenties, they were so upset with their weight, and now looking back, they think “What was I thinking?”.

      But the past is past. And now you definitely have the ability and the opportunity to shed the weight.

  30. Barbara says:

    And it’s very easy to go off-course and so hard to get back on. We must have a plan for the crisis, the celebrations, get-togethers, travels, etc. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

  31. Lesley says:

    Usually i delete emails unread but i usually read yours and find myself thinking about what you say. I lost weight 25 kg and have put on nearly half of it again. Old story repeated. Its like a switch that turns off and suddenly i lost the will to continue especially after a long plateau. I still eat healthily though. I find i panic about my weight and then i eat more!

  32. Anne says:

    This was one of my favorite posts. The other was the one about the lady eating chocolate desert. I never feel like I have to deprive myself because I’ve learned to plan. And if something unexpected comes up, I know I can adjust a few future meals to make up for it. I love the emails because they reinforce the message that i tell myself everyday. This is the reT of my life, if I don’t take care of myself now I will pay for it later.

  33. Dorothy Tole says:

    My thoughts are as Cheryl’s (March 24, 2015, 8.12pm above). I am in my early menopause and my weight has refused to go down no matter what I do. I am now focusing on the HEAVY dose of PATIENCE strategy!

    • Hi Dorothy,

      Patience is important. So is persistence.

      But you also need to make sure that your PLAN is working.

      It’s sometimes tough to know if you’re in a plateau or your plan isn’t enough.

      If your weight isn’t going down no matter what you do, then you perhaps need a better plan.

  34. Catherine says:

    Unfortunately it doesn’t take a crisis to derail my weight loss efforts! I’m a compulsive eater, and it’s difficult to just eat “normally”. Fruit and veg just don’t do it, I crave carbs! I’m also on meds which makes weight loss quite hard.

    • Hi Catherine,

      I think expecting to survive on just fruit and veg is quite difficult, and I sympathise, that you then miss your carbs.

      It sounds like you need a plan that incorporates things you like, but still keeps you on track.

  35. Julie says:

    Whenever I have a crisis that allows me to sabotage my new eating habits, I start re-visiting the different steps of Dr. K’s approach, in particular the cutting out of just one danger food and only eating treats I find really worth it. Allowing myself a treat in hard times, especially if it is a treat which really spoils me, also helps me through the crisis. This is my way of trying to steer my emotional eating in a direction in which I still have the cntrol (I have given up hope of ending my emotional eating in my lifetime).

    • Hi Julie,

      That’s a great example (Julie is actually the person whose testimonial is at the top of the page about my transformation course).

      A big part of this approach is tailoring strategies so that they work for YOU. And that’s exactly what you’re doing. Well done.

  36. Dora says:

    It isn’t so much crises here as tiredness and work stress. Plus opportunities.
    Yesterday I had a very long day at work and broke out at lunchtime and had a large quantity of chocolate. Same thing happened last Tuesday, same long day. It is the end of term and I had a late B12 jab on Wednesday last week and I’m exhausted. I haven’t done that for many months. I just got very tired.
    My biggest problem is socialising. I spend a great deal of time with women, many of whom bake and there is usually cake. It has become apparent that it is possible to eat a huge number of calories via cake if it is available all day which is the case for me on at least 2 days a month and often 4 or 5. Several other days also provide lots of temptation including every Friday night.
    I have not found a way of dealing with this. I can nibble away at the edges though
    I have a great recipe for chocolate brownies which has relatively few calories. Now when I see a chocolate brownie I turn it down because I know I can make something I like just as much for less than half the calories. Best of all I haven’t actually make my chocolate brownies for nearly a year. It is enough to know I can.

  37. Debbie says:

    Preparing for crises is a good way of thinking about it. I am always being derailed by crises and it takes me time to get back on track. This year in particular I have had one cold after another it has really knocked me off track this as meant the weight I have lost has been put back which is dispiriting.

  38. Helen Cromarty says:

    It’s reassuring to know that regular crises are the norm – I am normal! Through your newsletters I have learned that how I deal with them is what matters. Your newsletter is an important part of my weekly routine – a reliable friend, particularly during my regular crises. Thank you for being there.

  39. Charmaine says:

    I sincerely appreciate the tips, advice and info in your newsletters. They serve as both a motivation and a reminder to us folk on our quest for health. But as I grow to love my body and myself, exactly as I am, I find it easier to eat better, live healthier and take better care of myself. I really do believe that the secret to successful weight loss begins with our mindset, our attitude and our degree of self love. Well, in my humble opinion anyway 😉 Thank you Dr K.

  40. Amanda says:

    So many comments to read and go through make me feel that I am ‘normal’ which means that I cannot justify eating an entire pot of chicken sauce (it’s a Belgian thing they put on sandwiches), and a chocolate for lunch because I am ‘stressed’.

    I just need to find another way of coping with crises!

    Thank you thank you Doctor K – everything you say makes so much sense!

    • Hi Amanda,

      Yes, I really think this community (you and everyone who reads this) is a resource that I want to use more, to give support.

      And I agree, we need to figure out a better way for dealing with when things “go wrong”.

  41. Claire says:

    Your newsletters are helpful and I always read them and save them in a folder to reread when I need encouragement.

    My weight always used to be defined by my stress levels and whatever crises was going on, and these always seemed to be cropping up. I only seemed to manage my weight when I was less stressed and crises free. The problem was as soon as the crises were over I would have a new one i.e. my weight had gone back up. I have 20lb which has gone on and off, to a greater or lesser degree, so many times that it drove me nuts. Since reading your books and newsletters I now see that managing my weight is not a quick fix and something I need to accept I must be constantly vigilant about. I am now focussing on my health and losing weight much more slowly within that framework. Its a long term plan and much more about accepting myself and working on things at my own pace, not how it is projected in the media. I have put so much pressure on myself in the past about needing to lose x amount of weight within x number of weeks. It just doesn’t work.

    Thank you for your newsletters.



  42. Wendy Swycher says:

    It’s reassuring to know that I am normal & that so many others can empathise with the everyday blips as well as genuine crises. I look forward to your newsletter. It helps remind me to remain mindful & keeps me on track . And the fact you seem genuinely to care & want to help , unlike others involved in weight control, is very reassuring.

  43. Anne says:

    My story will probably not be liked by many who have gone through diet after diet. I have watched people dieting & thought it much to much like hard work involving thought, money, preparation etc. Only to end up maybe with good results for a while but usually back to square one or even worse. So I never even got started. I then found Dr K’s emails I have been reading them for sometime & put them in a folder to read again. After routine blood tests & weight check was told for my health I had to drastically change.
    I started reading Dr K’s emails again I have now lost 18kg (39.6lb) 2st 11lb. I am liking how I feel, lokk & the energy I have. I don’t have the desire to keep on eating after I am satisfied. If I am not hungry I just keep listening to Dr K in my head & remembering I don’t need it, do something else!!!
    I have times when I have weighed myself (most days I manage) & I have put on but am reassured by Dr K this is Ok & the trend will show I am still loosing.
    Thank you Dr K for probably saving my life. I going on holiday to Thailand where the family will keep feeding us! I am now not worried I know when to stop & if all else fails I will just get back on track when I return!

  44. Carry says:

    Dr K,
    I hope you are pleased with the response. We have smashed the 20 you asked for!
    Please keep your emails coming, as you can tell, they are extremely helpful.
    Thank you, Carry.

  45. Andrea Pelfrey says:

    Yes, it resonates like a bell, continuously ringing in my head. I can’t seem to get back on track again. I have tried dieting and stopped dieting and yo-yo-ed up and down. I’ve tried the lap band and failed and the gastric bypass and gained much of it back and lost it and went gluten free, processed food free and now am gaining it back and am again depressed. So what is new. Nothing. At 61, each new crisis is met and prepared for and faced once more. I’m just tryinc to climb back out of my dark despair once more.

    • Hi Andrea,

      Sorry to hear about your difficulties.

      Look at this way, you’ve worked out what doesn’t work, and now it’s a perfect time to do it right.

      You’ll be able to use your previous experiences to motivate you and it’ll be easier to figure out what works for you.

  46. Maureen says:

    yes your comments
    make sense to me….gaining weight after hip surgery is one example….then back on track and other life circumstances delay progress. I keep in mind how much better I feel when eating properly….also constantly dealing with food sensitivities as well….things will work out with the will and effort.

    • Hi Maureen,

      You sound like you’ve got a great attitude. It can be a long road sometimes, but again the question has to be “What’s the alternative?”

      And you’re right, you will be feel A LOT better.

  47. Lucila says:

    I can only say that reading all this comments has been more helpful to me than the article itself.
    I am doing Transformation and have been having lots of crisis of late. So, the course has been a life saver.
    I haven’t lost weight but I haven’t gained either! So I am happy for that and not giving up!
    Still learning and still trying.
    Thank you Dr K for this great idea for the newsletter!

    • Hi Lucila,

      Maintaining your weight is the first victory. (there is an obesity specialist in Canada who thinks that simply SLOWING DOWN the rate of weight INCREASE is the first victory)

      When you say you’re not going to give up, it’s music to my ears!

  48. Anne says:

    In general life I tend to “go with the flow ” and most of the time I am quite optimistic. As regards weight loss goes I am not overly successful. I am gluten intolerant, have IBS, and hypothyroidism, and problems with sleeping. I am also post menopausal. So, as long as I eat well, I am usually ok in regards to IBS. If I become very upset then this is reflected in my “gut” with frequent trips to the bathroom. I have never been able to lose weight with the high carb low fat diets, but had more success with no sugar, dont worry about fats sort of eating. I was prescribed this by a naturopath many years ago to help with an eczema problem in my scalp. The eczema cleared up and as an added bonus I lost 18 kg. I was able to continue this way of eating for 4 years, then all my friends started saying, ” oh. It is a special birthday for me, you’ve gotta have some of my cake” etc etc, so I did. One piece led to another and another and so on and before I knew it I was back to “normal” eating and had stacked the weight back on. So just recently I have again given up sugar and and even more recently I have given up Pepsi Max. So that is a start.

    • Hi Anne,

      That was very good to maintain the weight for 4 years. Well done!

      So you’ve got great experience of maintaining your weight, you just need to recapture the glory!

      Remember the Japanese proverb: ” Fall down seven times, get up eight times”

  49. Julia Kragulj says:

    I am 46 and “only” have 7 pounds to lose but at 5’0″ tall I really feel the difference. I tend to come unstuck when I travel: I travel quite a lot for work and hotel breakfasts, snacks available all through the day and dinners in restauants are difficult for me to manage. Also, I am English but live in Bosnia and when I travel to UK I want to catch up with eating all the things I love which I can’t get in Bosnia. I tend to gain weight and then feel discuouraged and find myself bingeing.

    But this time it feels different. Your programme is helping me to keep a longterm perspective rather than setting myself a target date for losing the weight. One of the most helpful things you have written is to indulge, certainly, but to make sure it is on the things you really love e.g. the best chocolate, not any old chocolate. This has helped me in some recent work travel and I came back having not gained any weight. When I go to UK I will indulge in some of the foods I love best, and if I gain a little weight then fine, I can lose it again when I get back to Bosnia.

    Over the past 2 months I have lost 5 pounds and only have 2 to go. This is the lightest I have been since getting pregnant 6 years ago.

    Thank you!


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