The Secret of the Woman Who Has Lost More Weight Than You

scalesImagine you’ve just finished reading “Slim and Healthy without Dieting” and decided to lose weight using my approach.

A few weeks later, you’ve lost three pounds (which is great, by the way) but you’re still feeling a bit unsure about the whole thing.

That night you’re at a party and you speak to a woman who, coincidence of coincidences has also discovered Dr. K.

But she’s lost 20 pounds!

How did she do it?

Does she have some remarkable character trait that you don’t?

What is her secret?

She has a secret. It’s one thing she has done that you haven’t. I’ll tell you what that is in a second.
One Person’s Ease. Another Person’s Difficulty.

Prior to last year, my experience with helping women lose weight was based on one-to-one clinic sessions each week.

But since last March when I set up an internet forum, I’ve had the opportunity to see weight loss from a whole different angle, because I get to interact with forum members on a daily basis.
Today when I was on the forum, I saw someone who was quite successfully making changes to their eating habits and noticing BIG changes in their appetite (decreasing) and improved food choices.

While another forum member was still finding it difficult.

What was the difference between these women?
The Difference that Makes a Difference

There’s a simple answer.

One was in Week 4 of the course. And the other was in Week 14.

This is enough to account for all the differences between these two women. The one who was finding it easier had simply been doing it for longer.

How these changes take shape

When you first start to lose weight, it is perfectly natural to have doubts. It’s perfectly natural to feel like success is far away. This is especially true if you’ve had a long history of weight struggles.

But if you keep with it (remember, “the only way you can fail with this approach is if you give up”) you’ll start to notice some differences.

You’ll become more aware of your appetite. You’ll realise that what you thought was hunger, was not.

You’ll see that you can cut back portions a bit, and not notice any change in satisfaction or enjoyment.

You’ll start to eat less. And then even less. When you look at your food diary, it will get smaller and smaller each week.

These changes happen slowly to begin with, but accelerate over time.


The Transformation

It’s a glorious thing to behold when I see someone’s eating transform right before my eyes on their food diary.

When you do this, suddenly next thing you know, you’re at Week 14, and someone who’s at Week 4 is looking at your food diary and thinking “How does she eat so little?”


Don’t Rush

But this is why I think you need to give time for weight loss to occur. You can’t rush it.

If I was to start pressuring the person in Week 4 to eat like the person in Week 14, it would be overwhelming and not helpful.

On most diets, you’re made to feel bad about over-eating. But I don’t agree with this at all. In my experience being gentle, supportive and non-judgmental is a much better way to get results.


The difference between you and the person who’s succeeded is TIME. They’ve given it the time to let it work.

Losing weight using a behavioural approach is a journey and you need to take it at the right speed.

Of course, sometimes it takes longer. And sometimes less time. But it’s OK. It doesn’t matter how long it takes.

There’s no prizes for quick weight loss. But there is one for sustainable weight loss. And that prize is being slim and healthy for life.
I want to hear from you:

Do you feel rushed to lose weight?

Do you look at others who are slim and feel impatient to get there?

Do you feel discouraged when you see others have reached their goal, forgetting that they’re just further along the road than you?

Do you wonder if you can ever eat less?

Leave a comment below

P.S. If you are interested in joining my internet forum, registrations are currently closed. But you’ll get the opportunity in May when I open up my Transformation Online Course to new registrations.

Posted in Blog
13 comments on “The Secret of the Woman Who Has Lost More Weight Than You
  1. Carry says:

    Yes, I understand the long term approach. It worked well for me for over a year.

    Since moving back here 18 months ago, from Singapore I have gained 10lb. It is not shifting! I keep a food diary and use a smaller plate etc. I must be eating too much and maybe drinking too much. At times I feel discouraged.

    • Hi Carry,

      It’s good that you’re keeping a food diary and using a smaller plate. That’s a great start.

      What you need to add to this are more strategies, that you practice consistently. It would also be useful for someone to have a look at your food diary to see some areas where you might be going astray.

  2. Angela says:

    I really would love to be apart of that. Sounds interesting and a long term approach may be the answer as there would be no stress or pressure. But would that not cause one to lose interest if the weight is coming off too slow? One thing that does motivate a person is seeing the weight drop off.

    • Hi Angela,

      That’s a great question.

      I see there being two parts to this:

      One is accepting that “10 pounds in 10 days” is not realistic after 40.

      The second is, I agree, that if weight loss is too slow, some people will get impatient and discouraged. It then becomes about finding the right balance. Making the changes gradual enough that you can stick to them, but doing enough to ensure that you’re losing weight and making good progress.

      It’s a line I walk every day!

      But also remember, it’s not like a regular diet where you’re suffering the whole time and can’t wait for it to be over. You’re enjoying life and eating “normally” so there’s not that sense of urgency just to “get it over with”.

  3. Julie says:

    Learning to eat less was a major hurdle for me, because after so many years of starving myself and then binging, (bullimic), I forgot how to eat according to physical hunger. I can live with the growling, painful hunger pangs and still refuse ro eat, and I can stuff myself so full that my stomach hurts but still continue to eat. this is where a food diary really helps me to keep perspective.
    When I first started with Dr. K, it seemed like all the orhers in the program only had a couple of lbs to lose–and I was more than 50 lbs overweight!
    But I DID lose that weight–and learned to control my binging and starving episodes.

  4. Dawn Jagdev says:

    I have lost about 10lbs since January which may not seem a lot but I have lost a lot of inches from my body. Today I bought a jacket one size smaller than usual and it’s too big. So while the pounds may not be moving as quickly as I’d like, the inches are falling off. So I must be doing something right.

  5. Keri says:

    Yes I do feel overwhelmed and fail each day to regain control over food and yes I do look at others and think how can they do I look back at my self when I lost weight previously and feel a failure because I cannot get the motivation now. i feel like a lost cause.

    • Hi Keri,

      You’re not a lost cause! Everything you’re describing is what I’ve heard other women say at the same stage. You’re not alone.

      Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You don’t need to solve this problem overnight.

      Part of the lack of motivation probably stems from your past experiences with losing weight, which most women have, and frankly I don’t blame you for feeling that way.

      But it’s time for thinking of this in a different way.

      Think of it like walking a path. It’s 100 steps. You can’t jump in the air and get to the end of it. You have to take 100 steps. But each step you take, you’re a little bit further away from where you started, and a bit closer to where you want to go.

      When you take a step, you can focus on how far you have to go, or you can focus on how far you’ve come. It’s much more satisfying to see how far you’ve come, and celebrate it along the way.

      And if you keep taking the steps, eventually you’ll get there.

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